Jo Frost scared me

I happened to catch a small snippet of some Jo Frost thing on channel 4 tonight and it worried me no end.

In one part there was a obesity experiment to see if kids would keep eating if they were fed ... of course they would. A control group was given one portion, another given two portions. The two portioners would continue eating as parents have no idea how much to feed them.

I worry sometimes about portion control and this just made me think. Apparently up until 2 years old, kids have a good build in "I don't need anymore food" awareness. After that, Fatty McFat-Fat takes over and they'd hoover up McDonald's everyday given the chance.

The second part I saw had what I can only describe as a street walker in training. This 13 year old girl who HAD to have a toned body so she could barely wear anything out to teenage discos. Apparently she wanted to be noticed for her. She'd be noticed alright, but not for any female empowering reasons she'd deluded enough to believe.

I understand parenting is hard, I'm currently doing my tour of duty. It just seems to get harder the older they get. Right now Em doesn't have any (real) friends so there's no peer pressure to do anything. I just hope we're strong enough to steer her right when the big choices do rear their ugly heads.

Watch  Jo in action, if you dare.

Emily's reaction to "Coraline" and other concerns

Cover of Coraline

We watched Neil Gaiman's excellent "Coraline" on Blu-Ray last night. Even though I knew it was far removed from a children's film, I thought we could let Em see the first few minutes of it - every film has that peaceful, happy setup phase at the beginning.

We eventually put her to bed about 10 minutes in, but I have no idea what happened in the film as she was laughing so hard. I don't really know what it is about stop-motion animation that got her all giddy, but I couldn't hear any dialogue over her laughter. It was quite amusing.

It did get me to thinking though. What do children actually take in. I was worried that the darker undertones of the film would subconciously scar her for life, but I have a strange feeling now that all she would probably take in (if she watched the whole film) was the quirky animation, a talking cat and some other funny - hysterical - stuff happening on screen. Having said that, the spider woman that "Other Mother" morphs into kinda gave ME the creeps.

I don't really plan on making a habit of viewing R or even PG material with Em (we're happy with "In The Night Garden" at the moment), but her reaction did make me sit back and think.

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Toddler lethargy

With Emily walking unaided almost all the time, a side-effect has set in - tiredness. I think now she's exerting a lot more energy walking and balancing, it's really taking it out of her energy-wise.

Where before she'd go to bed around 8ish, she'd wake around 6.30am. Now she's going to bed at the same time and we're having to wake her around 7ish - teenager like.

I'm not sure where to go on this one. We either feed her more to get her calories / energy up; get her to go to bed earlier, which won't be easy; or just deal with it.

I'm hoping this is common amongst toddlers who start to get more active and doesn't point to something more sinister like toddler anemia or thyroid issues.

Birthday approaches

It's hard to believe that Em's birthday is fast approaching. When I started this blog it was really only a document of Sue's pregnancy. I'm really glad I decided to keep at it and document Em's first year.

There's been so many changes in the last 11.5 months. She's gained eight teeth, started weaning (and self weaning to a degree), she's become more vocal and an actual joy to be around (before she just wasn't all that aware of her surroundings).

I'm constantly amazed how spending time with her can be so enjoyable. She doesn't really do much, can't hold a conversation and is quite dependent for everything - from drinks to replacing toys that have fallen out of arm's reach. For some reason though it works, and she's just a real enjoyable time pit.

I really look forward to what the next few years have to offer. As I've mentioned in this blog time and again, I'm quite cynical that all will be smooth from now until the end of her days.

If there's anything having a child has taught me, it's to look back, not only on my life, but the lives of those I've grown up with and just think about the choices we've made and where they led up to. Whether it's the teen mother, the tearaway junkie who had it all and threw it away or the high school loser who's now raking in the money.

All these futures are available for Em and I guess it's up to us to guide her properly so she can choose the right one.

More food

Visited with friends yesterday and their son is underweight. Made me think of our little food vacuum.

Still curious whether we're under or overfeeding her. She just seems to shovel in everything you give her. There are the warning signs she's not starving anymore, which are also akin to being bored. However, if you take that sign as being full, she can easily be crabby an hour later due to hunger. Best to make sure she eats quickly then? Not sure.

I went to Sainsbury's the other day and stocked up various types of cheeses for Em. A couple had fruit in them, a couple didn't. I realise that some - like feta - are mega salty, so they're out. I don't want her on an all cheese diet (how AWESOME would that be, though), but a nice variety from jars of sludge is nice.

Em also had her first curry the other night. Some tasteless chicken curry concoction for kids from Asda. Added some mango chutney to give it SOME flavour, but was careful not to add too much as it's obviously rather sweet. The chunks of chicken took their toll on poor Em though as she seemed to chew and chew and chew... rubbing her eyes like she was about to nod off.

I've said it before, and I'll reiterate now, I can't wait until she can speak or articulate things, so she can tell us she's full or hungry... or tell us what she likes, doesn't like and why she was choking.

Child minding

We've taken Em to the DB child care centre a couple of times and to be honest it's a nightmare (getting everyone ready at the same time, fighting for a spot on the commuter train, Em coming down with the green groolies, etc.)

We've sat down, worked out the figures and decided we're now going to try a local approach.

There's a woman in Carshalton that does child minding and for the time being, we're going to be dropping Em off there every morning and picking her up every evening.

Having had a year off - almost - and never really being apart from Em, Sue's in two minds over what to do, childminding-wise. The obvious choice - quit her job and stay at home - really isn't financially viable. Sue's other option is flexi-time, working 4 days a week.

Over the last 9 months, Sue's not only got incredibly fond of the bond she's formed with Em, not having to endure commuting, or office politics, she's also made friends with local mums - most of whom are going back either part time or flexi-time. Part of Sue's reasoning for flexi-time - the main being spending as much time with Em as possible - is to maintain social ties with the local mums.

Come February, I imagine it'll be quite a lot of trial and error in the beginning, with a few late arrivals at work, or seperation anxiety attacks by Em (and Sue).

I think as far as the natural progression of life goes, this has to happen at some point. I know from my experience it just didn't happen this early, and if we could afford it, it wouldn't with Em either.

Being a Weaner

The last week or so Sue and I have been contemplating the next phase of Emily's life - real food. Most of the books suggest that this phase doesn't start until six months. For Emily that would be September, when she's in Australia with mummy.

However, Sue has been reading another baby book that suggests that weaning can begin as early as four months, depending on size of baby, etc. Well, four months is TOMORROW!

All I can say is, we are not really all that ready to begin the weaning adventure.

I understand it just means you blend the hell out of real food until it's bland and as runny as milk, but I need to read up - do you serve it in a bottle? How much do you give? What if they don't like it? Do you have to play that damn airplane hanger game with them to eat it?

Thankfully my babies guide for dummies is handy, so I'll be doing some weaning boning up when I get home.

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Now playing: Men at Work - Dr. Heckyll & Mr. Jive
via FoxyTunes

Crisis averted

I joined Sue in her hospital visit today, not sure if she'd be joining me on my way out.

There were concerns over her bloatedness and her blood pressure, enough to get her mid-wife to refer her to the hospital for follow up exam.

I don't want to say it was anti-climactic or an emotional let down, but the tense situation I was gearing up for at the hospital never materialised.

Sue's blood pressure is within acceptable levels, the consultant also said that bloatedness and carpal tunnel issues are normal and gave some advice on how to deal with it. As a matter of course they also took some blood, and sent us off with a "see you next week".

Yep, the baby's due in less than a week. These people do this for a living, so my bets are firmly on a late delivery.

Breastfeeding session

Went to the breastfeeding class last night.

Wasn't really sure what to expect when we got there. Unlike the other ante-natal classes, this one took place in the home of one of the breastfeeding counsellors.

It was quite a laid back, almost question / answer session, where the pros and cons were laid out in front of us.

Having said that, apart from feeding every 2-3 hours (the look of Sue's face at the mention of that was priceless), there really seemed to be no downside to breastfeeding. The baby gets contact with mum, immunities and antibodies are passed down through the milk, baby needs less feed and less winding (as there's not much air in the breastmilk delivery method), there's less need to sterilise bottles, etc. and the most important thing - I don't have to feed baby.

It looks like we'll try it for about three months, and then see how much sleep Sue's actually getting.

I've been wearing an NCT bracelet that says "Breastfeeding makes a difference" for months, mainly because I paid admission to the NCT nearly new sale and received it in my admission pack. What I was wearing as an almost defiant joke I now actually believe. Funny that.

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Child care worries

Anyone reading this with any regularity will know that I am racked with a huge amount and number of worried about our impending bubby.

Some of them are about the health, nature and future of our child and others are about how we will cope.

Touching on the second, I received an email from Fool.co.uk today with an interesting article on the cost of child care.

It doesn't really say much we didn't know except that the cost of caring for a child is going up probably faster than anyone's pay. While this is good for the child carers, people WITH children aren't millionaires so we need a happy medium.

The article also discussed the Childcare Vouchers Scheme which Sue and I will probably be eager to take up.

Still not sure how we're going to drop off / pick up bubby with our horrible work schedule. The article didn't touch on that.

NCT Ante-Natal, take 2

Had our second NCT ante-natal class tonight. Sue and I both missed the Tuesday NHS one, with work commitments. Hoping to go next week!

At NCT we talked about the drugs you'd use during labour, what labour meant to the blokes and what the women would go through.

At one point we talked about administering Vitamin K (helps with blood clotting) to the new born, as the child will be born with rather low levels. This got me worried (oh HERE we go!) about haemophilia in the baby. Of course, the administering of the vitamin CAN lead to childhood leukaemia, so there's another concern.

We're having a good time in the small class, but I think Sue's becoming a bit put off as there's lots of exercises to get you thinking about things. I quite enjoy having to think about what exactly labour might feel like or the pros and cons of an epidural. If we were just told, there's always the possibility you'd tune out or doze off.

Looking forward to next week!

More stuff

It's only taken a trip across the world to be inundated with loads of baby gear.

My fellow colleagues back in London swore to me that we'd get heaps of stuff and have to buy very little. Of course, their well wishers weren't a plane ride away.

Sue and I went to a little country town to meet up with friends and now have a massive cardboard box of baby clothes, as well as some nice bespoke knitted stuff as well. I thought the initial load of stuff from her mum was going to be hard to get back home, this is just a little over the top now.

We've also got a pram we're supposed to take back.

I think we need one of those Mary Poppins suitcases that has a very deep bottom indeed.

Teenage Wildlife

The Times today had a supplement for teens, apparently written and edited by teens.

It got me thinking about all sorts of things, like how can I protect my daughter from the harmful media-obsession with being size zero, of having all her heroes getting publicly bladdered every night and dating heroin junkies, and trying to instil in her that that is actually not how people are supposed to react.

On the other side of the coin, I was wondering whether my daughter would follow her parents into the field of journalism and find herself writing for and editing a teen section for a major news paper in about a decade's time.

The more I think about things, the more secure I feel that all is going to be well... as long as we stay away from the bad areas of town.

Another one in the office

Ismaeel, the latest father to-be (actually just plain "father" now) in the office has come back to work today, fresh from his paternity leave.

A quick quiz about how you feeling and how was it elicited the single word response "amazing". I'm definitely looking forward to our little bundle of joy arriving in the world in March, I just wish I could shake all the worry and just enjoy the ride.

Little Lord Costingtons

As much as we try to compartmentalise the fiscal impact of the impending baby on our lives, it's ALWAYS going to be more of a blow. As we attempt to list everything we need for B-Day, it's becoming apparent that, apart from our lives, our money won't be ours ever again.

The impact, of course, is more painful given that Sue will be on maternity leave, but she's not alone in taking that and we - as they say - will make due!

Thankfully many places like Boots, etc seem to always have various necessities on sale. Walking to the train station today, I spied a BOGOF on baby wipes, so that's good. Also, some of the things we need will be needed on an ongoing basis, like the aforementioned baby wipes. Start-up costs high, ongoing costs, not so high... hopefully.

There's no doubt about it, with another mouth to feed and less one income, things will be tight but we'll manage... I hope.

Worries. Part Three

It seems everyday you wake up there's horrible news, and when you're an expectant parent, the news surrounding children hits you hard (I guess the news regarding whatever you're into or have an interest in hits you hard, I've just never taken the news about children to heart as I haven't had any).

Anyway, the Times had an article today on doctors wanting to combine the MMR jab with one for Chickenpox. Fair enough, although the MMR is controversial for making kids autistic and such. However, the article goes on to list all the potential issues and problems a person can have with chickenpox. Here I'm thinking the worst that can happen is you look like Bryan Adams, but nooooo.... You can catch things like "pneumonia, blood poisoning, encephalitis, ataxia (loss of control of limbs), toxic shock and necrotising fasciitis (the flesh-eating bug)."

I just remember rubbing the hell out of my skin with calomine and hoping not to look like Edward James Olmos when it was all done. Cripes, I would have cacked myself if I'd known what I could get!

Worries. Part Two

The walk to the train today turned to talk of other things that our child could be afflicted about that I hadn't given much thought to ... until they were mentioned.

Mainly ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder - and hyperactivity. I want my child to be the best most perfect person they can be.

Crying, and all that is par for the course, but I dealt with many kids when I was a kid that were just too hyperactive and all that and it was harrowing (especially in social situations). I don't want a child who's whacked out on Ritlin or any of those other forms of child dope.

So, that one's going in the worry bank as well.

My paternity leave concerns

I've just talked to Jim, the latest father in the office, who is now back from paternity leave.

I had a quick quiz with him, regarding paternity leave and pay. According to what I've read on the internet, paternity leave benefits include two weeks off and £100 / week in my pocket from the govnernment. According to Jim, I get full wages from work which is very nice.

So, worry averted!

Worries. Part One

I guess I'm sounding like every other parent to be, but I can't help thinking the elation we felt over a kick ass 20 week scan doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet. They've given us decent odds on the baby not having Down's Syndrome and other ailments, but I'm now worried about the things you can't tell yet - mainly deafness or blindness. And given that we didn't even have the foresight to worry about certain things, I'm NOW worried there's ailments I HAVEN'T even considered yet.

Of course, the big one that's got to me is SIDS - where the baby just stops breathing in bed.

I don't really know how parents to be do it? I'm gonna be a stressed out worried wreck by the time March rolls round.

Baby names

With the possibility of our baby now looking more and more likely to be a girl, I've been expecting the next uphill battle with Sue - the name. I imagine that with every set of parents, this is one of the biggest stumbling blocks.

Everyone has their set of "no go" names - bosses they've hated, exes, people who broke up their favourite bands, annoying people who served them coffee, etc.

Thankfully, I've really come to like the name Emily, and not because of any extraneous influences - I've got a friend called Emily, there's Emily Watson, See Emily Play (the Pink Floyd song), and a friend of the family is married to one. I was hoping that any of the lame reasons people use to NOT choose a name didn't apply to Sue in the swaying over to the Emily camp.

I can happily report that the uphill battle I envisioned never happened. We're both quite taken with the name and if it's a girl that's what we're going with.

I do however see an uphill battle over the second name, but that's a battle for another day.