Worries. Part Two

The walk to the train today turned to talk of other things that our child could be afflicted about that I hadn't given much thought to ... until they were mentioned.

Mainly ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder - and hyperactivity. I want my child to be the best most perfect person they can be.

Crying, and all that is par for the course, but I dealt with many kids when I was a kid that were just too hyperactive and all that and it was harrowing (especially in social situations). I don't want a child who's whacked out on Ritlin or any of those other forms of child dope.

So, that one's going in the worry bank as well.

Sometimes you kick... sometimes you get kicked

Laying in bed, watching Miss Potter on DVD, I was afforded the opportunity to feel our pre-natal child doing somersaults in Sue's belly. I felt the odd murmur, which could have easily been wind, save for Sue complaining about all this movement in her stomach.

I guess with 22 weeks fast approaching, activities like these are going to be more common, and to think there's tell of allowing abortions up to 24 weeks! With activities like this it is definitely tantamount to murder.

I look forward to further activities of our wee bairn in the days and weeks to come.

My paternity leave concerns

I've just talked to Jim, the latest father in the office, who is now back from paternity leave.

I had a quick quiz with him, regarding paternity leave and pay. According to what I've read on the internet, paternity leave benefits include two weeks off and £100 / week in my pocket from the govnernment. According to Jim, I get full wages from work which is very nice.

So, worry averted!

Worries. Part One

I guess I'm sounding like every other parent to be, but I can't help thinking the elation we felt over a kick ass 20 week scan doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet. They've given us decent odds on the baby not having Down's Syndrome and other ailments, but I'm now worried about the things you can't tell yet - mainly deafness or blindness. And given that we didn't even have the foresight to worry about certain things, I'm NOW worried there's ailments I HAVEN'T even considered yet.

Of course, the big one that's got to me is SIDS - where the baby just stops breathing in bed.

I don't really know how parents to be do it? I'm gonna be a stressed out worried wreck by the time March rolls round.

Amazon Wish List

Now that Amazon sell baby gear, I've created a new wish list for the baby stuff we imagine we're going to need.

I've only got one thing on there so far, but as Sue and I find stuff that we need we'll add it. Mainly so we know what we need in one place, but also if someone wants to buy us something they can handily find a place that lists what we still have outstanding.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/REJOBQQUUPVS

Blogger's delight

Sue called me today to let me know that Jo is going to pay her £100/week (or was it a month) to do a new-mum blog for one of the websites she runs.

That'll be a nice bit of cash in pocket. She also ribbed me (mercilessly, just mercilessly) that I do my blogs for free. True, but there is a certain amount of love and affection and I also want to have this stuff in years to come so I can remember what happened when.

Good chat

Had a good chat with a fellow-dad to be at work today.

Discussed all the usual, from scan photos to clothing. It's good that his wife is about to unload, as I can sorta see what the next few months will have in stock.

There were the usual words of advice like don't scrimp on the pushchair/carseat combo, be prepared to return loads of redundant gifts and make sure you really really need the stuff you're buying.

For example, apparently something like 60% of Moses baskets don't get used.

It's all good to know stuff and much easier on the brain than just reading this crap in a book.

Crazy Day of Baby Fair

Spent a LARGE chunk of the afternoon at Earl's Court at the bi-annual baby fair.

If there was anything I didn't know or wasn't prepared for before today, I think that's been sorted by the many stalls at the show.

Only thing I'm worried about now is how to pay for the child. There's so much stuff to get - diapers, stroller, bed, clothing, food, things to feed it with.

I think worry has now been replaced by confusion, as we're not sure which stroller to go for or which diapers or which anything. Much more research and Amazon.co.uk searches are needed before March rears its head.

We did get some wicked and wonderful freebies including literature, coupons, and just loads of information to make us as informed as possible.

Potential Loss

So Sue's in a bit of a tizz as she thinks she's lost the photos from the baby scan. She took them to work and may have recycled them by accident. I'd like to believe that's not true and am trying to convince her of this, but I think she sees it as part of something bigger - i.e. if she can't care for the photos, what will happen to the baby when it arrives?

Time will tell where the photos are, but I have every faith that she will be just a great mum, despite her current protestations that she isn't.

worries

As much as you want to be a part of the pregnancy, as a bloke I think there's an ingrown sense of uselessness all men feel.i mean we're not carrying anything in our bellies, our days aren't filled with random ill episodes and our clothes still fit.

As much as I try to come up with things to do with baby I feel useless, like one of those mates who comes by and just sticks their nose in your situation.

I think it does't help that I rebel against being ordered around and nautrally am turned off a few things I want to do. I think a lot of it boils down to wanting to do stuff on my timetable not someone elses.

One thing I'm going to have to sort out I guess before baby arrives. None of my time will be mine from that point on, and the last label I want to wear is 'useless'.

Names again

Well, it seems if the 90% certain girl isn't actually a girl, Sue wants to call it Neil (after Neil Finn, as her second choice for a first name is "Finn").

I'm still partial to Matthew (with Mark Luke as the two middle names) and not because of my mate Matt or Matthew LeTissier or even Matthew Perry. Just like the name and it offsets the shortness of our last name.

What sex is it?

Even though the scan and the mid-wife seemed to confirm we're having a little Emily, Sue's given me some odd and contemplative information.

Seems her mate in Melbourne, Rachel, had a friend who had THREE scans that said "girl". Confused were they when said person gave birth to a boy.

So, while I'm awaiting a girl, I'm also open to having a boy. At this point, I just want to have it here and get it potty trained.

Baby names

With the possibility of our baby now looking more and more likely to be a girl, I've been expecting the next uphill battle with Sue - the name. I imagine that with every set of parents, this is one of the biggest stumbling blocks.

Everyone has their set of "no go" names - bosses they've hated, exes, people who broke up their favourite bands, annoying people who served them coffee, etc.

Thankfully, I've really come to like the name Emily, and not because of any extraneous influences - I've got a friend called Emily, there's Emily Watson, See Emily Play (the Pink Floyd song), and a friend of the family is married to one. I was hoping that any of the lame reasons people use to NOT choose a name didn't apply to Sue in the swaying over to the Emily camp.

I can happily report that the uphill battle I envisioned never happened. We're both quite taken with the name and if it's a girl that's what we're going with.

I do however see an uphill battle over the second name, but that's a battle for another day.

20 week scan

Just got back from the 20 week scan at the hospital.

All is well and the baby's doing fine. So fine, it doesn't have things we didn't even think about. So worried about Down's Syndrome, we didn't even think about things like hairlip or Spina Bifida!

Seeing the baby more developed than 8 weeks ago is making it all the more real. I had a pang of impending fatherhood sitting there watching the midwife slide the ultrasound wand over Sue's goobered belly.

We tried to video the whole thing, but the midwife said they usually frown on that. I managed to sneak in a few seconds of video. To make up for it, she gave us pretty much a whole roll of baby photos!

It's coming up now! I'm actually beginning to get excited.

Sell Sell Sell

We went to an NCT sale today. For the uninitiated (which very recently included me) the NCT stands for National Childhood Trust.

Basically what I imagined the sale to be was parents selling things their little loved ones had recently outgrown. For the most part I was right, but what I didn't count on was the stalls selling new stuff and actually giving out information.

I got the low down on the car seat law (it's any child UNDER 135cm regardless of age, but there seems to be age 12 attached to the law) and Sue got an Indian head massage from a woman who apparently massages babies, after their hard day... at the office? pooping?

Paul came with us and stocked up on secret santa stuff for a pregnant woman at work.

All in all, a nice eye opener, and a good place for us to not only stock up on baby gear but to also offload it once we're done.

For the £1 admission fee, we also got an "I support breastfeeding" wrist band, which they were flogging for £1 in the main area of the fair. Not bad!

----------------
Now playing: Cyndi Lauper - She Bop [12" Version]
via FoxyTunes

We are not alone!

Just got off the phone with my mate Tahir who also seems to have all his bits in working order. Good on him and his mrs, Maria. They've been together far longer than Sue and I have, so it's good they're having a wee-one too.

This also gives Sue a more friendly person to co-mother with than the random strangers at the clinic or hospital. I can imagine there'll be loads of cross info sharing between them.

At least Tahir and I can go bulk on the cigars for the waiting room.

----------------
Now playing: Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark
via FoxyTunes

Mid-wifery

Sue went to see the midwife this afternoon after having picked up her notes from the hospital this morning. And yes, she was working from home, so there was no need to run around town between doing in-office stuff.

Good news is: all is well. The baby is doing well, we're not diseased and things are on track for a March 3 delivery of healthy goodness. Yay!

Sue picked up some sort of bounty pack at the hospital as well, which I think is just a bunch of coupons for baby-related stuff. Yawn.

Next on the agenda is the 20 week scan later this month and a glucose tolerance test for Sue in December. A number of people get gestational diabetes, so I guess they want to make sure all the sugar and chocolate isn't adversely affecting her.

Reading and other issues

With a few months to go, I thought it prurient to start reading about what we're actually going to be bringing into the world.

It seems you could devote your entire life to reading the exacting a proper way to bring a baby into the world, what to eat, what to avoid, etc.

Before I crack open the latest tome though, I have to say I am still scared to breaking point about bring a new life into the world. On the way to work today I read about a loved private school boy who topped himself in his 20s as a smackhead who couldn't get clean. Then I walked by a nursery for children with problems.

On top of that, when baby does arrive I have to figure out how to drop it off at nursery after 8am and pick up before 6pm, even though I usually take the 7.53a train and never get home before 7p.

I just need to sit down and have someone tell me this is all doable and everything's going to be alright.

I really fret that in 17 years time, Sue and I are going to look at each other and say "where did we go so wrong?" In that, I hope I am very wrong.

Morning Sickness

With Sue in full pregnancy, it's amazing how her sense of smell has developed.

Having said that, sometimes it's been to her detriment. She hasn't had morning sickness all that bad over the last few months, but there are the odd things that she can smell that really makes her step back and take a breath. Most of these things I can't even smell.

A new one today was the site of a dog dropping a liquid load on the grass across from our flat. I'm not sure if it was witnessing the act or the combination of sight and smell that set her off (again I couldn't smell anything), but Sue was rather unwell after that brush with dog business.

I guess morning sickness is a cliché like the crazy cravings - some women are affected, some aren't, and it's never what you expect that will set a person off. I've stocked up on dill pickle ice cream, though, just in case.


From Amazon: Morning Sickness Magic 60 Capsules

Cat firmly out of the bag

Well, if the cat was ever in the bag, it's now been comfortably removed, sitting on the floor drinking some milk.

Almost everyone I know now knows that Sue and I are expecting. I wanted to tell everyone face to face, and given circumstances, wasn't able to - Sue and I had to tell our families over the phone.

Most of my friends in the UK had to wait a few weeks, just because I'm a hermit and don't get out much. Well, over the weekend I managed to see a load of people - from ex-colleagues at a leaving drink on Friday to a group of guys at Paul's birthday on Saturday night and then at the NHL game on Sunday.

So, bring on March 3, I'm just a little more ready now.

----------------
Now playing: a-ha - Scoundrel Days (Album Version)
via FoxyTunes