Terrible story from Ottawa

I know how tiring it can be with two small kids with special needs. Sue, also feels quite sluggish quite a bit (which may be due to her medication). This means our spare time is usually filled with doing stuff for the kids or praying for bed.

I read a story today on CBC.ca about a family in Ottawa that just got to the breaking point of exhaustion and had to give their Autistic child away to the government.

I can't even begin to imagine the horror I would feel if that was my ONLY option left with Emily.

The article also made me start to extrapolate into the future - something I don't like to do with Emily. At the moment, she's dependent on us for everything, which children should be. As she gets older and peers become more and more independent, I'm afraid she'll remain dependent on us. In some ways I don't want her to ever grow up, so this disparity will never manifest itself.

I know every child is different and there's no guarantee how Emily will end up, but I still can't help but worry and reading articles like this only amplifies my anxiety.

Claiming travel to Dragonflies and delusions

Who goes shopping in just a nappy?

Sometimes you can live in a deluded bubble. You think you're a supermodel yet you're so fat you can't fit through the door; you think you're a genius but need a calculator to work out 2+2; you think you can get away with white after Labour Day.

Sometimes I think I'm deluded about Emily. "Learning difficulties" is a nice tidy, fixable not too problematic issue. I don't know if I feel the same about "Autism", regardless of how mild.

It's really hit me these past couple of days as Sue and I have discussed and put together a claim to get transportation for Emily to Dragonflies. If we get it, a special bus will pick her up and drop her off, which is handy as neither Sue nor I could guarantee to get Emily to school everyday.

We had to fill out a form making Emily sound like some brain-dead spak. Saying things like "she can't get in or out of a car by herself" (which is - sadly - mildly true), and "she is a risk to herself" if put on public transport. (I would argue, though, that there aren't that many 3 year olds with the mentally acuity to ride public transport alone). The fact that she's still in (slightly ill-fitting) nappies is also a mild worry... but that's a tale for another day.

I think the worst thing Sue and I can do is let our positive energy turn negative, and for the most part we are quite optimistic. Optimistic that Dragonflies will help immeasurably; optimistic that Emily will be able to function properly in society; optimistic that one day she WILL ride public transport on her own and not come to harm.

I don't know how much of this is delusion on my part, but I guess come this time next year we'll see how much help Dragonflies actually was. Afterwards, we could always put her on a train by herself and see what happens...

Emily and her Doors

Emily had this obsession for ages that doors and drawers need to be closed.

It came to a head a couple of time, when Emily couldn't close doors for one reason or another and proceeded to break down.

While we were on holiday in France last October she actually went out of her way to close doors as well. She'd be in the throws of having a book read to her, drink in one hand biscuit in t'other and then, out of the corner of her eye, she'd spy the door leading into the hallway was OPEN!

Quick as you like, the story and snack were quickly forgotten in order to save the sanctity of the closed door.

Lately, apart from ensuring all drawers are closed - sometimes while Sue or I are still rummaging in them - her anal desire to have EVERY door closed had abated.

In the last week or so it seems to have reared it's ugly head and Emily can't properly relax until the two doors in the living room are closed (or as closed as they can be). Any attempt to maintain their openness results in Emily breaking whatever activity she's engaged in - usually reading or jumping up and down to a Peppa Pig DVD - and ensuring the sanctity of the closed door.

With summer here, we're trying to maintain as much through breeze as possible and Emily's OCD door issues are really ensuring that the living room is breeze free. Thanks OCD, thanks a lot.

Toddler Discipline - The beginning

Emily is getting to that stage where she's not a blank slate anymore. She's started to do these little things to test Sue and I. Part of me wants to let her experience things and be free, but the other part, the part that can envision this boundary-free tearaway, wants to stop her at every turn.

It's incredibly hard to know what to let her do and what to put a stop to. Do we allow her to fling her food on the floor or kill that dead? Is she allowed to trace her fingers around my closed eye or will that morph into attacking sleeping children at school?

And then there's the kicking. When we're out and about, Em uses kicking to signal excitement. When we're playing that same kicking sometimes results in a boot to the head for mummy and daddy. Do we scold her and put an end to this (sometimes) painful experience.

I can't help but think the choices we make today will shape the child in the future. With parenthood comes great responsibility. I can't help but feeling our actions now will  help determine whether Em becomes a PhD or an ASBO.

See Emily play

Image via Wikipedia

When we've collected Emily from Katherine's place, Sue and I feel at quite a loss as to what to do with Emily, stimulation and entertainment-wise. Do we continue play time? Do we let her play by herself? Do we read to her? If we leave her to her own devices, are we being neglectful.

It's a worry, as neither of us want her to grow up thick, but there has to be a limit to teaching children. I'd like to think that Em playing happily with her blocks or turning my Xbox on and off with the remote is stimulating enough.

I guess we'll have to read up some more to make sure our little toddler isn't being mentally stumped.