2am is the new 7am??

Emily's really starting to play up with regards to the Holly situation.

She's not eating at the table properly and dinner / breakfast time has become a bit of a mental warzone.

This morning, however, was one of those times you could have just brained her. Just before 2am she came bounding into our bedroom all smiles and laughter, ready to play, etc. 2 AM!

I eventually took her into the spare bedroom where she EVENTUALLY got to sleep... around 5am. You can imagine the joy waking her up today.

We thought about it after the fact, and it's been a real shake up for her. She won't go to bed in her own bed either. We've had to let her fall asleep at the foot of our bed, like the family dog. I imagine she must have turned in her sleep last night and woke slightly to find she wasn't where she started the night and just wanted to return.

I don't know what the solution is. Discipline and punishment and all the stuff you do to a normal child go out the window with someone like Emily - they just won't respond to it. We have to instead try to get to the root cause of whatever the situation is and try and nip that in the bud. It's difficult, though at 2am when the root cause sailed some 5 hours ago.

Everyone keeps saying that Em will stop reacting to Holly and start dealing with being a big sister, but having read the SEYSCAT report yesterday and knowing that Emily isn't like other children (who eventually come around), I'm not betting that's going to happen all that soon.

Until then we put up with horror meal times, screams when we go near her bedroom door for sleeps and the general tantrums of a child who can't express that she doesn't want to share mummy and daddy any more.

Disrupted sleep

First point - Emily never has a sleep during the day. She hasn't for a long time. If she does, she's ill.

Right, now that's out of the way, we went shopping yesterday and when we came back we were all in the living room - myself putting together purchases and Sue and Em lounging on the settee. Next thing you know, Em's fast asleep - it's 6pm.

My first thought is she's ill, she's not well, she's tired - i.e. she needs to sleep. Previously when she's gone to bed hella early she's slept all the way through because she's ill, she's not well, she's tired, etc.

At this point, we had two obvious choices - treat it as a nap, wake her around 8 for dinner and see where we go from there OR treat it like she's out of sorts and needs to sleep and wake her normal time tomorrow.

We went for plan B. Big mistake.

Around midnight we could hear chatter from her room and immediately knew that plan B was the wrong plan. SOMETIMES, she'll wake, chatter to herself and go back to sleep.

Knowing full well she hadn't eaten since around 3pm, I figured her chatter / fall asleep would work better if her stomach wasn't grumbling. I went downstairs and made her a sandwich which I took in to her. Even though she'd been asleep for 6 hours and had woken, she wasn't all that active - still laying quite docile in her bed and only really turning when I entered the room.

I gave her the sandwich and a drink, fully expecting at this point that both her and I would be in a state of restful slumber by 1am.

Ha.

Come 5.30am when Sue got up to go the loo, I have it on good authority the party was still a rocking. Like a lightweight college student I was fully passed out next to party girl #1 who wouldn't take sleep for an answer.

This all changed at 7am when it was time to get up to go to school / work. Emily was fast asleep, having had probably about an hour's sleep in this spell. Needless to say, all attempts at getting her ready were met with crying and what I imagine to be a childlike sense of "what the hell? I just got to sleep." Needless to say, we couldn't send her off in this state - and all parties (council transport, Dragonflies and Helen) had to be notified this possibly ill girl was going to stay at home... and sleep?

If this episode has taught us anything, it's that even if Emily is ill we need to err on the side of caution and wake her, ensuring that she doesn't work herself into a new time zone by accident with her new body clock. Jet lag's horrible when you're travelling, let along when you're not.

Emily - Can't sleep or won't sleep?

It's been a fun weekend with Emily.

My mum arrived on Friday night, so Em's got one more family member to wrap around her fingers and to plead "read" to.

We went out last night and dropped my mum off so she could visit with my aunt for a few days. On the journey down, Em fell asleep. This was around 6pm after an intense 15 minutes of trick or treating around the neighbourhood.

On the way back, around 8.30pm, she woke up and quickly fell back asleep once we got home. Having put her straight to bed on getting home, we heard footsteps on the stairs about 40 minutes later.

Around 11pm I felt it was time that not only Emily get back to bed, I was also quite exhausted. On arrival in bed, I nodded off feeling exhausted. Emily, however, was refreshed and up for a party. It was around 1am when I went to the other room to try and get some sleep, with her still babbling and singing to herself.

One odd thing I noticed in the babbling she was doing was that she actually counted BACKWARDS from 10 to 6. With a little prodding, she also managed 3 to 1 as well.

In the last couple of weeks, I've been really amazed by a lot of stuff Emily has done - from being much more lucid and expressive, saying more words - like  "read" and "no" - in context, and now demonstrating insomnia.

It's just a pity she had to drag Sue and I into her "can't sleep" hell as well.

Lack of toddler sleep

Emily usually collapses into a toddler-sized ball of sleep anywhere between 8pm and 9pm.

It was with EXTREME frustration that I was dealing with a ball of energy last night at 10.30pm. I know all too well the perils of doing something during the day which will result in insomnia, lack of sleep, etc. (usually caffeine related) but Em was acting like it was 10.30am, not pm. My overwhelming concern was how were we going to wake her this morning.

Thankfully, by the time I climbed the wooden hill to Bedfordshire around midnight she was fast asleep. Recently fast asleep I don't know. This morning's "wake up Emily" took a bit longer, but it happened and she was her usual morning sprightly self.

The only difference yesterday I can think of is we gave her ice cream for dessert, maybe that's like caffeine to a toddler. Live and learn... live and learn.

Emily's new proper bed

Emily in her big girl bed.

Over the weekend I went down to my nan's flat and moved some furniture out, bringing an end to that chapter of our lives.

Among the new acquisitions was a bed for Emily - her first proper slumber chamber.

On Sunday I sorted out her room and erected her bed. It's a damn sight larger than her crib and is a proper bed, not one of those overpriced children's beds.

Last night was her first sleep in it. Kitted out in matching cupcake duvet and pillow set, she was tickled pink at her bed, repeatedly saying "bed".

I left her with the light on, and a number of books to read thinking she'd enjoy her first night in her bed.

When I came up later on to turn the light on, she had actually crawled INTO her crib and fallen asleep in there, shunning her bed completely.

Something makes me think she may not be ready for the responsibility that the cupcake duvet represents.

Bedtime pain

This evening Emily fell out of bed. This is not news. She went whollop and landed on the floor, let out a cry and stayed asleep.

It did get me to thinking though, why I don't fall out of bed. When do we reach that age where we naturally guard ourselves from doing faceplants on the floor, even when we're unconscious?

I can picture myself in our bed, tossing and turning and having a horrific sleep, yet I stay off the floor. It astounds me that we as a species seem to have developed this trait to stay in bed.

Chalk another one up to evolution!

Pillow? No no.

Now that Em's a toddler, we're looking at moving her out of her "childhood" crib and into a bed. To get her ready for the transition, I've been letting her fall asleep in the parental bed. This has included her lying on a pillow. The look on her face of child-ecstasy as she falls into the pillow is incredible.

So... thinks dad putting two and two together in a vein attempt to equal four... maybe if we put a pillow in Em's cot she'd be happier going to bed.

One night I went to bed, putting the pillow under her head and marvelling at my thoughtfulness, mentally writing my dad of the year award as I walked, rather pleased with myself, back to bed.

Then I did some searching on Google which prompted me to jump out of bed, rip the pillow out of her bed and mentally scold myself for being the largest dufus in the world.

What did I find? The long and the short of it is - toddlers don't need a pillow and to prove how much they don't need one, they can die from SIDS if they sleep with one.

I quote from one of the happier posts I found:

Pillows

Pillows could be dangerous for babies.

- They can cause suffocation, either by the baby turning face down and burying his face in the pillow or by getting his head under the pillow. This is rare.

- Babies do not need a pillow to sleep comfortably.

- Do not use pillows until the child moves from the cot into a normal bed, usually at 2 to 3 years. Even then pillows are not essential, but children usually want to have one to be like everyone else. Once our shoulders are wider than our heads, most of us sleep more comfortably with a pillow.

- Young children should start with a flattish and fairly firm pillow. Older children usually choose the type and size they prefer. The type of filling does not matter unless there is an allergy problem.

To tell the truth, I didn't really get beyond the first half of the first point before my better judgement felt that it was easier to explain to Emily why she couldn't have a pillow than to explain to Sue why we have a dead child.

I think the hunt for a bed is still on, but I walk the pillow line with sweaty palm and dread in my heart.

Bean bag sleeping station

Now that we've moved into the new place two things have happened - all our stuff is in one place and Emily feels a bit out of place. No longer are we in the two bed flat, the only home she's ever known. We're in a 3 bed house that's quite odd for her.

However, one plus side for her is that we've been able to get the bean bag out of storage. I imagine all kids love bean bags, but the last two nights running I've come into the living room to find her fast asleep, ensconced in all sorts of beany goodness. It's meant that she's actually fallen asleep when she's been tired, and not done her usual "fight it" stance which usually ends up with her going to bed way too late, and with dark rings under her eyes.

I'd like to think this scenario will go some way to acclimatising her to the new house, as going back to the familiar flat really isn't an option.

Afternoon nap

Image via Wikipedia

Being home the last couple of days with an illness I hope isn't pig related, I've been able to see a bit more of Emily.

Part of that has involved trying to get her to stick to an afternoon nap as part of her daily routine. It's never easy to get a child to sleep, especially when they're nosy and they think they might miss something.

Yesterday and today, however, I have hit the magic bullet ... for now. At the first sign of any tiredness (yawn, glazed look, eye rubbing) I put her on our bed with a couple of her favourite board books, Clifford The Red Dog being a current fave. After a few minutes, she invariably falls asleep. She looks at her books so intensely, studying them like a doctor would study a patient, I'm not surprised she nods off.

I hope this instils in her a love of books though, and doesn't make her equate them with falling asleep.

It's just nice that she's taking her afternoon nap and not waiting until 7pm to begin her evening tiredness grizzle.

Boundaries for Emily

At the moment, Emily is pretty much allowed to fun amuck, unencumbered by any boundaries. I realise that as she gets older we need to set parameters and instil in her a sense of right and wrong about a great many things but I really don't know when this should become priority number one.

Case in point - sleeping. At the moment, to get Em to sleep we take her to our bed, play with her, sing to her and read to her. She eventually drops off. All school of thought (and my tingling Spidey sense) tells me she should be falling asleep in her own bed. This is a "boundary" that I'm keen to put in place soon, but I don't know if our current regime is causing her any lasting harm.

I've been reading about boundaries, or discipline, lately and a lot of it seems like common sense, but I feel that as Sue and I get older and get more and more tired, it's just easier to give in. SelfGrowth.com lie out a number of scenarios displaying why discipline and boundaries are needed.

At the moment, Emily is causing havoc in the living room throwing stuff around, but I firmly believe that as long as Sue and I are helping Em figure out right from wrong, we're a good step along the way.

I imagine discipline and boundaries will be a more common theme as Emily gets older and we tread this very long path together. I just hope we tread it correctly.

Teething. Again.

Thankfully, Em seems to teeth during "business hours" (i.e. when Sue and I are awake). This has occasionally included evenings when we've put Em to bed and she's woken herself up with pain.

Last night was the first night she started teething outside of business hours. It was about 1.30am this morn when we were woken with her pain-induced cries. A bit of drink off mum, some cuddles from me, and some baby Tylenol later and she was back asleep.

We've got eight teeth so far, and I hope this latest bout brings about a couple more at least. I just don't know how much more sleepless nights Sue, myself or Em can take.

Hey, dummy

We've not really given Em a dummy since she was really little. I think we've missed out on a trick here.

Normally, Sue breastfeeds her and that sends her to sleep. With Sue's imminent return to work, we won't be able to count on this as the magic bullet for much longer (especially for afternoon naps).

Today, after much advice, we decided to break out the dummy again. Magically, it took about 10 minutes and a minimum of crying before her Em-ness was fast asleep.

Here we thought it was the milk sending her off - and sometimes it is, judging from her drunk-eyes. Today, we realised it might also be the sucking motion itself that pushes her over the edge into Slumbertown.

Whatever gets her there is good in the end!

dribbles the clown

The last couple of days going to work, I've had interaction with Sue only, as Emily has been fast asleep. Not that she's slept through the night... oh no. She's happily awoken around 5 am only to pass out from exhaustion long before mummy and daddy have had the chance to catch some zees.

Today, though, mummy rang me to let me know that Em is dribbling a storm. This can mean only one thing - teething. And that's NO fun for anyone involved. With four teeth almost here, I can imagine she's going to have a whole set of pearly whites in no time now! Of course, this will cause no end of trouble for milking mummy.

Having arrived home tonight after a work function, the little dribble magnet was already asleep. I do feel a bit bad for leaving Sue so long on her own with the drooling Emster, but I also feel bad that I miss out seeing the droolster myself. Of course, it would be idiotic to wake her to sate my own desire as we'd be stuck with a half asleep little bag of unhappiness and that doesn't tick boxes in anyone's book.

Sleeping patterns

When I got home last night, Emily was fast asleep from an active day.

She didn't wake up until Sue was going to bed around 11pm. This was a neccessity wake-up, as Em hadn't been fed or changed all evening, and you can't leave a child in that state all evening and all night.

Anyway, I was dreading the wake up as I assumed the five hours sleep would mean she was well rested and ready for play.

Thankfully, this wasn't the case. Em had a drink and a change and then dear old dad eventually got her off to sleep again around 1am.

Having said that, I was exhausted and ready for bed around 11pm as well. The more these things happen, the more I realise that we need to get Em into a routine. I know other people who go nuts if their baby misses the 7pm feed by 5 minutes. This I do not want, but more structure can't hurt Em.

More jabs

We took her Eminence to get her 16 week jabs today... at just over 19 weeks. It was a three needle affair.

I managed to entertain her during the first one, but failed miserably during the second and third. She eventually regained her composure and we moved on to weigh her as well. 17 lb 11.5 oz!

One of the side effects from some of the many inoculations Em was given include upset stomach and copious sleep. When we got back home around 3p she nodded off and we had to really rouse her after dinner so she would sleep though the night. There's been no sign of upset tum yet though, which is good.

The weather's cooled down and Em movements have returned to normal colour, so the worry we had about their greenness was probably down to the heat and her sweating more. The midwife said she may have also caught a slight bug which would have turned it green.

All in all, another good day in the life of Em.

Sleep, my friend, why have you abandoned me?

Ok before I have a go at Emily, I have to offer a mea culpa. The last couple of nights we've kept her up WAY past her bedtime and she's retaliated the only way she knows how - by screaming. (Last night just after arriving home around 10.15p, I'd left her on the sofa while I took my shoes off. When I put her down she was crying, when I looked back after removing said apparel, she was asleep.)

Having said that, we're going through another phase now - ROLLING!

Emily used to just lay there like a doll or a log and if you wanted her to move, you moved her. Now she's figuring out the rolling thing and moving her head, it's becoming increasingly difficult for Sue to feed her without Em's little eyes darting everywhere and her focus on anything but the feed. Invariably she lets go to look at what she's found interesting, realises she's not feeding any more and screams. WONDERFUL!

But I digress, along with the rolling has come the "I don't wanna sleep" phase of life. Sue has called me the last couple of days with tales of how Emily just seems to be missing her afternoon nap. This is setting us up for a fall, as when I get home at night her eyes are glazed over and she has rings around them like an all night factory worker.

We've just got used to her old regime and it looks like we've been thrust into the middle of a new one we've got to learn pretty quick.

At least she's sleeping through the night still. Although, being awoken at 6am is still jarring on the system, it's not as bad as it is for Sue who has to feed the little tyke.

I'm just getting used to showing up at work with my own bags under my eyes and the constant yawn.

Birthday!

It's my birthday today, and as a special treat, I got a present from my daughter. My first birthday as a dad.

The birthday cards sitting on the "mantle" now read - "to my husband", "to our son", "to my nephew", "to my dad" and ... oddly.. "to my sister-in-law".

Went out for steak tonight at Smith & Western and Emily was way over tired and didn't take kindly to not being at home or in bed. Sue eventually took her outside to rock her and feed her, leaving me at the table to guard the possessions - keys, phones, wallets, etc.

Em eventually nodded off during the main course and we had a nice quite meal (apart from the kids at the other table - which we hope to God Emily doesn't act like at that age!)

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Now playing: Oingo Boingo - When the Lights Go Out
via FoxyTunes

Partying and baby sleeps

This weekend we went away overnight to a friend of Sue's for a birthday party in the country.

Again, Emily was the star of the show, with her grinning face illuminating the room and everyone wanting a cuddle. One downfall was we didn't really get Emily to get until about 1.30am. Not too bad, except her usual bedtime is about 7.30pm... 9pm at a push.

The benefit of her being absolutely exhausted was that I could get her to go to sleep with just a little persuasion. Lately, she's not been going to sleep on her own and has needed a last feed to "knock her out" as the case may be.

Sue and I are a bit worried that this will continue and she'll be 15, sitting at the dining table with her face in her food as the only way to get her to sleep.

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Now playing: Foo Fighters - Hell
via FoxyTunes

Latest set of jabs today

Had an appointment this afternoon to get Emily's latest set of jabs done. This time they started her course to combat meningitis as well.

She was quite good, all things considered, and really only grizzled slightly during the jabs, even though there was a bit of blood (thankfully the cotton wool to most of it).

Last round of jabs, we gave her Calpol and she was knocked out for most of the evening. This afternoon, we've not been as lucky. Most of the Calpol ended up on a muslin or on her dress and she kept breaking into crying randomly. Sue's been able to send her off to sleep with a feed, but we're not sure for how long.

While at the clinic, we also got the little tyke weighed. She's now clocking in at over 16 lbs! That's quite the heft, but they're quite happy with her progress and so are we.

The next major hurdle is how Spain is handled...

The Great Baby Cot Debate

It's come to the point in Emily's life where she's outgrown her Moses basket and the grand decision has to be made - do we completely rejig our bedroom to fit her cot or do we move on to another milestone and make her sleep in her own room.

Logistically speaking, our bedroom - without some major furniture removal - could not accommodate Emily's cot. We could try a number of other options, including army bunks or sawing things in half, but this is not really a good idea.

Thus, due to logistics, we've had to embrace the milestone that is baby sleeping in her cot in her room ahead of the six months that Sue was hoping for.

I've since done some research to find out whether we now qualify for the worst parents of the year award and I've discovered that 3 months is the usual limit that parents can cope with the little person they've created sleeping near them. Things like snuffles and constant shifting restlestness mean that the parents get a better sleep without baby there. A work colleague told me that his son was wise to the awake parent anytime of the night, so a 4am loo visit automatically became a "hey, you're up, let's play" session.

We're now debating baby monitors, and I think there's a real tangible sense of guilt manifesting in cot death worry, but I think statistics will bear out that we're doing the right thing.