Other skills

I realise we've been focusing an awful lot on Emily's speech development, but there are other areas that we are going to need to work on soon so she doesn't languish behind.

Potty training is at the top of our agenda. It's one of those things that just sounds like a pain, you don't want to do and you hope will just mysteriously sort itself out. We know it won't, we know it will be painful and probably messy but Emily will thank us for it in the long run.

This morning I was watching Emily eating breakfast and ... well, eating is ANOTHER area of concern. Anyway, Em had her elbows on the table as she was eating and it just made me realise that manners like this will be another area we need to get her to do.

We're trying with please and thank you, but no elbows, eating with cutlery (and not hands).

The list grows.

Em also tried to dress herself today. She took the wrong end of her pyjama trousers and tried to pull them onto her leg. A for effort, F for result. I tried to get her to do the same thing, the right way round, with her actual trousers but she was having none of it.

Teaching and training your child is a full time job. I realise that once over the hurdle of language delay we're not on easy street, but just the last day or so I've been realising how much there is to do, just in this phase of her life that's above and beyond her difficulties.

Being a parent's hard.

Related articles

• Rules for Potty Training Success (trainyourdogs.wordpress.com)
• Help Potty Training an Autistic Kid (parenting-success.com)
• Potty Training and Your Preschooler: Advice for Parents (children.webmd.com)
• Day in the life of potty training a toddler (parenting-success.com)

Double appointment day!

We're finally in full swing with appointments for Emily.

This morning we had our NHS appointment with the speech therapist and this afternoon was Portage. I wasn't able to attend both, so made it to the speech therapist, as we hadn't seen her since October.

It was more of a recap meeting that anything else. She was quite impressed with the progress Emily has made and felt that the various strategies put into place from the various other organisations was paying dividends.

We also asked about the paediatrician issue where we won't be seen for another six months. She let us know that a number of autism assessments aren't really optimal for children under 3 years old. Given the normal NHS back log, seeing us in May or June doesn't actually seem all that bad now. Just wish we were told this at the original meeting. Also, the doctor we WILL see is apparently quite good.

This all culminated in the should we / shouldn't we debate about going private. There's the concern, raised during the meeting as well, that we will put on a parallel course of therapy and it will be up to Sue and I to police it between the various organisations.

Although Em is still developmentally behind - she's only NOW saying words that a "normal" two year old should be saying - I'm quite happy that we are getting lots of help and strategies to help her and that (most importantly) she seems to be responding. I can only imagine if we were doing all this and there was NO improvement.

Related articles

• Post paediatrician, back at square one (bubbytimes.blogspot.com)

Grinders and the fine art of bruxism

Emily's been grinding her teeth on and off for the last few months, and when we've noticed we've tried to stop her. Emily's quite adamant at continuing and has even cried at some attempts to stop her.

This led me to do what every parent in this age would do - consult the internet. Sue and I fear that if she continues, she'll have nubs soon where she used to have teeth.

Of course, the Internet has proven this half-assed theory completely wrong. It's also given a name to Emily's new  habit "bruxism"! Apparently, the worst thing about Emily grinding her teeth is the noise we have to put up with.

The Internet, that bastion of truth, even said that Emily's not alone in her grinding and that kids generally start around 3 - 3.5 years of age. Finally, Emily's not developmentally delayed at something. Take that nature!

The quite search on the web has alleviated my fears that Emily's doing something that could be harmful, so I can go back to worrying about everything else. Yay.

Fennie's development meeting

After the high of our visit with Portage yesterday, it felt that any more meetings regarding Emily could only be a let down.

It was nice to be proven wrong when we met with Fennie's and the Croydon Council worker who is going to help them initiate strategies to help Emily.

I came out of the meeting feeling that the tide seemed to turn and that people had Emily's best interests at heart - and not just going through the paces and offering bureaucratic rhetoric when it fit them.

The nugget of information that really solidified today is that Emily is really quite a fast and brilliant visual learner. Pictures, symbols, etc. really get her going. I'd like to think that Sue and I are doing a lot of this type of teaching, almost by accident, but it's stuck in my mind since the meeting and I'm going to try and keep my concepts and chatter with her as visually aided as possible.

Today, I feel positive. It's good. Oh God, Emily... what's that smell???

Related articles

• First parent "teacher" night (bubbytimes.blogspot.com)

Portage second visit

We had our second visit from Portage today. This is an organisation that helps disabled and learning impaired children under the age of 3.

We had about 45 minutes of intensive learning-helping play with Emily where she had to choose, take turns and do other developmentally helpful activities.

Sue and I then listened to Sheila (from Portage) give us more information about services and help available to ensure that we do everything we can for Emily to get her over the current development issues she has.

There are schools we can sign up to (Dragonflies), government grants we can apply for to help with the cost of her private speech therapy and all sorts of other things.

As the icing on the cake, Sheila also left some of the toys she used with Emily so Sue and I can use them to coax her out of her shell.

We also have to enact "special time" which is where we let Emily play with a bunch of toys and mimic her while doing a football-style commentary ("Emily is hugging her bear.") I'm going to try and do this every night when we get home and see where this gets us.

I'm glad we're getting this help ... finally. Of all the people we've seen so far, the help and advice from Portage has been 100% invaluable. By far the best resource we've dealt with yet.

Related articles

• Portage visit (bubbytimes.blogspot.com)

Emily's new words

When she's not hacking up her dinner on my shoes and jacket, Emily's been reciting her new words to Sue and I.

As with most of her vocab, it's within the confines of her books and any real world application is still alluding us.

This morning, she's been reading her Dora The Explorer book and it takes place at night. All I've heard from her as she turns the pages is "moon" and "stars". Of course, if we go out on the next clear night and look up, I really don't envision her putting 2 and 2 together and making the real world application.

On the other hand, associating and understanding in ANY context is pretty good and I'm quite proud of her accomplishments in that regard.

Vomit times

We went into town today for a number of reasons. Mainly that I had to get a new coat with a credit note Sue had (my Christmas gift wasn't the right one).

We went to a Mexican restaurant in Covent Garden for lunch and then I treated myself to a few minutes browsing in Fopp.

Then the day went DOWN HILL.

When I came to pay for my goods, I couldn't find Sue or Em anywhere. A quick call from Sue and I found them in the lift, along with a pool of sick courtesy of Em.

The good people of Fopp were incredibly understanding, and in hindsight, it was better in a little used lift instead of all over product they might actually be able to shift.

We dressed Em in my coat, I wore my new coat and we headed off.

Emily, obviously under the influence of some horrid stomach bug, did not limit her wretching to Fopp's lift. We also managed to get a 38 bus soiled, just outside of Victoria station. This time, my new coat was also victim to the guttural stream of delight (as was my current coat which Em was wearing at the time).

When we got home, thinking - foolishly in hindsight - that all was well, we now have half our settee drying by the radiator having had a cushion mopped down to get rid of the sick.

At times like these you really want to point blame and yell at someone. Especially when you're nice, expensive brand new blazer is yacked on and you've not even owned it for four hours.

Like anyone being ill, it's not Emily's fault and I find myself angry at fate or myself.

Of course, Sue and I are really only concerned with her staying hydrated and getting better. We don't really want her going to bed in her bed as choking on vomit can be quite lethal - as we just watched a character in Breaking Bad die that way.

Here's hoping our collective Sunday isn't as brutally horrific as today has been.

Clingy klingon

Lately Emily's been rather lovely-dovey and huggy-wuggy.

I understand all kids go through a clingy phase and this must be hers. However, at some points the constant neediness can be quite distracting.

The last couple of nights I've had to put a DVD on for her, so I can steal away long enough to put the dinner on. Although, she generally doesn't stay in her chair when she eats as she reaches out for a hug and before toppling over, I end up feeding her from my lap.

I know I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, as when she's a moody hideous teenager I'll be wishing for any acknowledgement of my being, let alone a cuddle or a hug. It's just that too much is sometimes a little too much.

Teething pains

Em was in quite a mood today and it really finally dawned on me when we got home that she probably IS teething.

When we got home, she was incredibly clingy and wouldn't let go of me to even get a drink. We were watching a Smurf movie (Smurfs and the Magic Flute if you care - and the animation was TERRIBLE) and I kept having to check to see if she was awake as she wasn't moving all that much.

Over the last few days she's become so used to having Calpol that as soon as she saw the eyedropper filled with the medication, she was eager to take it.

It's sad that she even needs to know what it's for.

About 20 minutes later, she got up from the setee, announced "bed" and proceeded to climb the stairs. About 10 minutes later, sans dinner, she was fast asleep.

God-bless you Calpol.

All the signs now point to her teething - the pink cheeks, the blood curdling screams at breakfast as I know assume her cereal was hitting some open nerve. I imagine the fever and the rash over the weekend were symptoms of this now, and not anything swine related.

I can't remember what teething felt like and if she's in this much pain, I'm quite glad that's true.

Post paediatrician, back at square one

We had the developmental paediatrician appointment today and I have to say, it was a disappointment. We weren't expecting all our worries to melt away, but were hoping for more than what happened.

We sat there, and then went through the same thing we've done with everyone else we've seen - explaining what Emily can and can't do, she performed some tasks, etc.

The doctor then told us we would be seen in 4 - 6 months. Yeah, MONTHS. So much for any ongoing treatment, any follow up appointments.

They did rule out any physical issues and said that it was all developmental. Still, autism (in any part of the spectrum) couldn't be ruled out after only one visit and as the next visit isn't for another 1/2 year who knows what the hell they'll find.

To say I was disappointed on the way home is sugar coating it. Both Sue and I were quite devastated. Any faith I had in the NHS has had the final nail put through it today. We need to really come up with a plan B to get Emily's issues sorted out.