Camping in Dorset

We got back today from camping in Dorset with two other families.

I really had no qualms about taking Emily as she's always going on about "tent" and wanting us to cover her with an afghan, duvet, etc. and Holly is at that easy going age where she's not all that arsed where she goes as long as there's food and a clean nappy.

Sue managed to cram everything we needed to into the car - including tent, sleeping bags, clothing, pushchair AND Holly's monstrous walker. We managed to push her around the campsite a few times, much to her (short lived) delight.

The biggest pain was Emily unfortunately. While she was happy to dance around and explore, she really had no about dancing and exploring in the middle of the road, or running off to another part of the camp ground and doing her thing there. While she was awake, Sue and I had to keep one eye on her and one eye on what we were doing - which never really resulting in us relaxing, until after she was asleep.

Emily having a sensory time on the beach.

Holly was the star of the show with her vast appetite. No one could believe that a child that size could eat FOUR breakfasts (banana, cereal, toast, custard/yoghurt) and still be up for whatever ANYONE else was eating. I'm thinking/hoping she's just going through a growth spurt and that we're not going to have a Clifford the Big Red Dog on our hands ("he eats and drinks A LOT").

We capped the holiday off by spending the day on the beach near Sandbanks (near Poole). Apart from getting sand EVERYWHERE, it was a nice relaxing way to spend the day. Emily decided that the feel of the sand was really nice and proceeded to bury her face in it, as well as run her feet and arms in it. The shower that evening was FILLED with sand.

We also got her to eventually accept the water and have a bit of a dip. Small steps, even though she likes swimming (in a pool).

Glad we could get away and it was a good relaxing time (apart from chasing Emily) for everyone involved.

End of holiday

For the past two weeks, I've been on holiday in Canada without the girls. Sue took both Holly and Em to Australia on Aug 8. They arrived back today and I'm going to be back UK-ways tomorrow.

The original plan was for Sue and the girls to go to Oz for three weeks, a trip I couldn't afford time or money-wise. While they were swanning around the Southern Hemisphere, it was suggested I make the best of the time and come to Canada for a couple of weeks, which I have done.

I've Skyped the girls almost daily and it looks like they're having a good time. Holly, in particular, seems to be more alert and erect, which is good, as her back muscles were part of the area that needed work. I've been watching and rewatching the videos I have on my phone and Youtube of the girls.

It's given me a sort of insight into what it would be like if all I had to remember the girls was these videos and photos. A reality with Holly that was almost too real. I'm really glad this particular situation has a happy ending.

Em starts big school in a couple of weeks. She'll be a fulltimer at Rainbow Opportunity Base at Green Wrythe Primary School.

Between now and then, we have one more big transition for the girls - moving house. I got the keys on the 14th, while they were in Oz, and have moved some stuff over so far. It's going to be quite a busy few days when I get back moving the rest. It will then be an even busier few weeks after that adjusting Emily's routine.

Between coming back from holiday, moving and starting a new school, it's probably more than she will be able to handle. I'm hoping in this case, I'm proved wrong.

A touch of the malaise

Sometimes, having done all the reflection on Emily and her "condition", I find myself reflecting on myself and some of my actions - and wondering if I don't show some of the same signs as well. I guess it's natural, and in Early Birds we've all been talking about how the things we discuss seem to reflect on us, the parents.

Case in point, as I write this on the eve of my 40th birthday, I'm in Las Vegas on a work trip. Conventional wisdom states I should be having fun!, fun!, fun! and making the most of my time here. What do I actually want to do? Crawl up in a ball and wait until the flight home.

I went for a walk today in the searing 42C heat, up and down the strip, popping into shops and casinos along the way and all I could feel was the utter sadness and desperation of the people gambling away money they could ill afford to lose... that and an amazing thirst.

I guess a place like this isn't for everyone. Being here has helped me realise that. There's also no definition of fun that suits everyone. You don't have to get legless by the pool or lose your shirt on blackjack to tick the "having fun" box.

Spanish holidays

We got back from holidaying in Spain this week and it was quite a mixed time we had there with the kids.

Emily had decided to really jump into the spirit of being on holiday and refused to go to sleep most nights before midnight. This did make make for some peaceful-ish mornings. Trouble is Holly still went to sleep at her regular time and provided the usual dawn wake up calls. A couple of mornings we got off lightly and it was about 8am.

Emily was flower girl at our friends' wedding. She did a commendable job, given her difficulties. I ended up walking down the aisle with her and we had reached our seat before I remembered that we should be chucking rose petals along the way. Oops.

During the ceremony, Emily proceeded to recite her favourite line from Peppa Pig, "FIRE!". Thankfully she was drowned out by vows and celebrants, but she does pick her moments!

Most days we spent swimming in the pool. Emily's vernacular sees "swimming" as taking a bath, so essentially taking a bath in a massive unheated bathtub (pool) was quite something. She fretted about going in  every single time - a few choice games and help from friends ensured that she ended up having a wonderful time in the pool.

The biggest surprise was food. Em CAN be a picky eater sometimes. If things are out of the ordinary - i.e. carrots cut oddly, Capri sun served in a cup not the foil container, etc. - she will refuse to eat or drink. Also sandwiches turn into two pieces of bread and filling, eaten separately.

Saying that, we ordered her seafood paella one night, assuming I'd have to consume two portions and have her starve. Sue and I were pleasantly surprised to find her hoover down the portion (within reason - she didn't fiddle around with the clams or mussels, but did eat the squid). From that point on, almost every meal we ate out included a child's portion of seafood paella. Can't say fairer than that.

Holly got her usual jar of puréed fruit, which she inhaled. Not sure if the Spanish jars of fruit taste any different. Most of the fruit we get in the supermarket this time of year is from Spain, so my money is on "no, it doesn't taste any different".

Spanish holiday preparation for Emily

We're heading off to Spain next week for Amanda and Dave's wedding and Emily is going to be a flower girl.

There's so much about that sentence that fills me with dread.

Thankfully, through various workshops and meetings, we've discovered (and had reinforced) that the prepared parent of an ASD child can (hopefully) circumvent most meltdowns and problems by being prepared.

To this end, Sue bought Emily a book about a flower girl a couple of weeks ago that we've been reading. How much she can equate some badly drawn artwork to a task she's never performed is yet to be seen.

To enable to trip to be less stressful for Em, Sue's also put together a small book outlining what we're doing, where we're going and - crucially for ASD kids - that we're coming back home again.

The goal is to read this book like we would a Dr Seuss or Hairy McLairy book, and hopefully the repetition and the familiar photos will make the actual event of the flight to Spain, the wedding (and flower girling) and the trip home almost stress-free.

One thing we have been remiss about is to get Emily in the habit of wearing headphones. This won't be much of an issue going to Spain as EasyJet won't have any in-flight entertainment. It will be quite imperative to have this sorted on the flight to Oz for the girls in August, as Em will need to be entertained by the TV screen.

Fingers crossed the Spanish holiday goes off without a hitch.

Learning these little phrases

We've been in Oz now for a few weeks and Emily has had 24/7 mummy and daddy time (well, I was in the UK for her first week here). During this time, it's quite evident that she's come on leaps and bounds in certain areas of her development.

On the flight to Melbourne, she had tired of her books so we took out the in-flight magazine to look at. Always a winner with kids! We got to the menu page and Emily grabbed my finger and started pointing to various pictures for me to tell her what they are. On the facing page was an ad for watches, and an ad for coffee machines.

Somehow, over the Melbourne trip all I had to say (with or without magazine present) was "watch" and her face lit up and she attempted to say "coffee machine" which actually came out more like "cobbee machine".

On our camping trip, a similar thing happened with a Stuart Little 2 story book. We got to a page, the old point and tell happened and for the rest of the trip, we talked about "sky, whoosh, lady, waiter". Nanny Pat even got into the act and when Emily said "sky" she looked cheekily at Pat to say it in a funny voice.

Yesterday in the car as we waited to leave the campsite, Emily was babbling to herself - in that toddlerspeak that only toddlers understand - and I could clearly make out the odd line from one of her favourite books - "Hairy MacLary's Bone". She knows the book well enough to fill in the words I leave out when I recite it, but it sounded like she didn't need me at all to recite the book anymore.

Having had other kids around of similar ages while we've been on holiday, it's obvious (sometimes depressingly so) how much work Emily has to do to catch up to where she should be. There's been some good stuff happen and she's learned lots of new (arguably useless) phrases and proven that she's got a wicked retention for things. I'm just a bit concerned. As a father, I don't think that feeling ever truly goes away.

Holiday developments

We've been with Emily every waking minute since we came on holiday last Wednesday.

Since then, the amount of words she's used has seemed to noticeably increase. Not only is she filling in more words in her books, she's also started saying the odd word in context.

She'll wander from adult to adult with a book in her hand saying "reeeeeed" to get you to read her the book. Unfortunately, she tends to want the same book read over and over again. We're trying not to extinguish her enthusiasm and using words in context, but there's only so many times you can read "The Gruffalo" in one sitting.

Apart from speech developments, Emily's holiday adventures has also featured her starting to hit out and both Sue and I. I'd like to think this is a phase she's going through, but as such it's a phase that needs nipping in the bud. I understand that she still can't make her needs and desires known and that can be quite frustrating, but to punch or kick out is not a viable alternative.

I just wish she understood the effect saying "read" with a book in hand had, and that she could extrapolate that to other needs like "drink" and "eat".

Small steps I guess, but in the last five days there's been quite a bit of progress.

Christmas is now over

Image by nickstone333 via Flickr

We had a delivery last night that officially marked the end of Christmas for Emily.

Elmo Live was waiting for us when we got home, a present from Emily's uncles in Australia. She was enamoured with him in Kuala Lumpur airport and we thought it would be a nice present... rightly so.

Emily really didn't "get" Christmas, and I didn't really expect her to. She enjoyed the wrapping paper and the new toys that materialised, but I think Christmas is all about the build up, the anticipation. The actual day is always over FAR too soon.

I imagine that Em will start to really soak the festive season in when she 3 or 4. Obviously when she starts school it'll be drummed into her like every other mini-consumer in her class.

For Sue and I, the holiday season also meant spending loads and loads of time with Emily without having to go to work. That was one of the better presents this year.

Father's day

I'd be remiss in this blog if I didn't mention my second ever father's day.

Got some lovely dad socks and a couple of iced biscuits from Em. It's funny how much a toddler actually CAN afford ;)

Went out to for a lovely pub meal as well in Coulsden. Em had a child's portion sea bass, potato and veg while mum and dad had the usual Sunday roast.

I'm not too sure what to expect on Father's Day, but the pampering and "no dad, I'll do it" attitude of the rest of the family really is only in my fantasy. Reality was, it was just another Sunday, but I got socks and biscuits at the beginning of it.

Airlines and the children who fly

Image via Wikipedia

Our recent Canadian oddyssey was interesting airline-wise. We flew Air Transat (or Transhat as many who fly them call them). Emily, being an infact got NOTHING in the way of travel allowance, and Sue and I got a meagre 20 kg baggage / 5 kg carry on. To be fair, Emily was allowed a nappy bag free of charge as well as taking her push chair on.

We've just checked Air Canada for our return to Canada in May. Emily will cost 10% of an adult fair, which works out to be about £58 (not sure if it's 10% after taxes, surcharges, etc.) For this infant fee, she gets TWO bags at 23 kg each, as well as 10 kg carry on. Now I don't know if she gets a nappy bag for free, but this will be over looked given it's an allowance comparison of 56 kg vs NOTHING. Sure Air Canada are a bit more expensive, but when you weigh up the hassle that Air Transat seems to be, it's a no brainer.

Sue and I also get 56 kg each (Carry on might be a tad more). This works out to be well over 150 kg for the three of us, as opposed to what Transat offered us over X-Mas - 50 kg total for the three of us.

Dukka Dukka

Emily's not speaking yet, perse, but she is getting more verbal. Apart from the ubiquitous "da da" (always first with the important words!) she's now been known to add utterances that sound similar to "ape" and just today we heard something similar to "ma ma". Of course, to her it's just babbling as she has no clue that we are called mum and dad.

The one phrase she is uttering quite a bit, and it really started in Canada, is "dukka dukka". It's quite cute watching her furrowed brow get to grips with the complexities of a stuffed toy while uttering it in all seriousness. Not quite so cute, when she's saying it behind a wall of crying and tears, but the good and the bad come with the territory.

We're now back from the great white north and Emily had a lovely time. She seems - touch wood - to be coping with the jet lag better than mummy and daddy as it's currently 1am and neither of the adults are ready for bed, yet Emmers is fast asleep.

Having brought her back into her familiar surroundings, it's quite amazing how much she's changed in the three weeks we were away. Apart from uttering "dukka dukka" all the time, she's also noticeably taller, and she's begun pulling herself up when you go to pick her up. We're going to have to figure out quite soon how to drop the floor down a level on her crib.

I was once told to cherish these first few months as they are only that - a few months. I really didn't know how true that was until we got home.

New Year!

Went to my mate Matt's place for New Year's Eve with Sue and Em. 

Matt and his wife Clare have a three year-old called Liam. Thankfully they still had all his toys, high chairs, travel cots, etc. (comes with having all the space you get in Canadian homes). 

Anyway, Em was in seventh heaven with all the toys she could play with and it was quite nice to have her play with a slightly older child, albeit a rather loveable rambuncious three year-old boy.

As parents, we're living on a different plane now - our concerns are different, our attitudes are different and our conversations are different. Sue and Clare chatted about being a parent, we all discussed child care and it was interesting seeing in the New Year, only the second year that Emily has known. I kinda wonder what new things she'll be doing when we see in her third year... walking... talking... potty trained... cursive writing... who knows.

Merry Christmas everyone

Emily's still not adjusted to the time zone difference - surprise. We've been woken up by her around 5 am the last couple of mornings.

This morning, however, we decided to pop out to the living room and open a couple of presents, sort of a sub-family Christmas just the three of us. Emily got a few gifts from Santa to open, and Sue and I opened our gifts from Emily. It was quite nice, just the three of us, and foreshadows what we have to look forward to in years to come.

We have the full-on family present opening later and I'm sure it will be completely overwhelming for Em... it usually is for me!

UPDATE: Em got LOADS of stuff and in no way was looking like she'd be able to sleep again. She got a real kick from playing with the wrapping paper as well.

Looks like we made it....

After an interesting flight and the world's worst wait for "oversized luggage" we finally made it out of the airport and into the waiting arms of my mum and dad - nana and grandad to Emily.

The flight was quite uneventful - apart from some turbulence - which is good. I was quite concerned how we were going to entertain Emily on our laps for 8 hours, how we were going to eat our delicious plane meals and other such things. It all worked out in the end, although I think the heavier she gets the less fun it's going to be. The fact that we had 4 movies one after the other helped pass the time as well.

Now we're in Canada, we've got all sorts of fun in store - snow angels, snow men, walks in the ravine, etc. I just wish that in years to come Emily could remember it all.

Back in Blighty

It's Sunday and our Toulousian adventure is now a distant memory (well, two days ago).

After having gorged on French food and hospitality and mooched around Toulouse while not having a care in the world, the real world has come crashing down upon us.

Yesterday it was back to routine - we took Em to Aqua Tots (only two sessions left!) and then we went to Tesco's where she promptly fell asleep.

Today, she's been a wonderful little thing, playing in her sit'n'step and just being a joy to be around.

The past few days, I've noticed a change in Em - both physical and in demeanour. Something about her nose (I know that sounds odd), but she looks less and less like a baby each day and more and more like a young child. Part of this makes me sad, as my life seems to be speeding by at the rate of knots, but it seems Em's does too (I know to her it doesn't as it's only been eight LONG months that she's been alive).

She's also started clicking her teeth which is funny to watch. I have it on good authority (OK, Sue) that it's not new, but as with all things if it's new to me, it's new.

But back to my original point. I've been with the girls 24/7 for the last week and I'm going to find it rather difficult being away for the day come tomorrow. Thankfully, I only have two weeks left of work then almost a month off (week forced jollies, then three weeks in Canada).

Out and about in Toulouse

While Mummy's been busy in lectures learning about French HR and trade unions, Daddy and Emily chose Monday afternoon to walk the mean streets of Toulouse.

We walked around most of "centreville" finding many interesting squares (or Place as they're called here), and walking down to the river (where this photo was taken). It was a lovely sunny (if not windy) afternoon after a tumultuous rainy morning.

Last night we went to an Italian restaurant and Emily nodded off on the walk there. She slept through the whole meal (even though we asked for "la chaise pour le bebe") and she slept through further drinks at a faux British pub (where daddy was able to watch English footie on the telly).

Mummy and Daddy weren't 100% lucky as Em decided on the walk back around 11pm that nap time was over and the evening was to begin. Thankfully, she was only awake for about an hour and fell asleep with mummy and daddy. As she didn't really sleep yesterday I'm thinking that her evening siesta was to make up for nothing in the morming and afternoon.

Today Mummy has the afternoon off so - if it's nice - we're going to have a look at the double decker carousel.

Day One of daddy day care

Mummy, Em and I had brekkie this morning in the restaurant here at the hotel. Around 9am, Em and I said goodbye to mummy who is in class all day.

Since then (about two hours at this point), Em and I have been hanging out in the hotel room. Why? Because the weather is TERRIBLE! It's cold and rainy, and as Em has snotty nose and cold, I don't think I should let my curiousity about a new city override my child's health.

As it's around 10am GMT, it's also almost time for Emily's nap which is another excuse / reason not to venture out into the "6C with light rain" Toulouse day.

I think we'll have a go "apres midi".

I'm kinda dreading Canada, as the weather there will be similar except on steroids! Still, we'll have nice warm cars and houses and shopping malls and friends houses and coffee shops and ... toy stores (did I mention, the inner kid in me loves having a child?)

Bonjour from Toulouse!

We made it to Toulouse, having avoided the hell of the British train system today.

Emily was awesome in the airport and on the plane. She repeatedly tried to eat both her shoes and her socks, removing them and stuffing them in her mouth. We repeatedly tried to make her at least wear socks, as barefoot children in the airport look a bit ... odd.

From tomorrow I will be the "free babysitter" while Sue attends school classes in the hotel.

This evening we are going foraging for food, not forgetting that we are carting round an 8.5 month old child in a push chair.

I don't know how child / handicap friendly the French are, but judging by Toulouse Airport, things are going to be interesting for the next five days.

Recognition never realised

Managed to pick Sue and Em up at Heathrow this morning. Their plane landed at 5.30... in the AM!

I got there just before 6am, having had quite a turbulent non-sleep (waking every hour until about 4am where I gave up on sleep).

I was quite excited to see my girls return, quite aware that it would be bittersweet having left the bosom of family to come back to a husband/dad that would be absent most days.

What I wasn't really prepared for was Emily. The look on her face when I saw her was a complete blank - nothing that could be confused for recognition crossed her face. To her, I was another person to meet. This was upsetting, but as she'd spent 1/6th of her life away from me, I wasn't completely surprised.

I was prepared slightly for how big she'd gotten, but I'll never forget that first glimpse of her when Sue carried her out of the arrivals hall. It was just really odd... almost like "who is this creature"?

I'd been a dad for 5 months, then a singleton for a month and now I'm back to being a dad, exactly where I want to be.

large and in charge

The count down is on until the girls get back and I, for one, can't wait!

The word on the phone is that Emily is large and in charge. Rolling from back to tummy, almost walking (not!) and ready to start Uni!

We've been buying those "you will know it's time to turn the page" books for her which is a hoot. I had them as a kid - complete with dodgy little 33 1/3rd 7" vinyl. Of course, as Emily is a child of another century - her books come with CD!

In other news, apparently Emily might have problems later in life as she was a large child. According to a number of online articles, the larger the baby the more the risk of breast cancer at a later date.

WONDERFUL! I'd better get my hugs in when they get back next week in that case.