Four years on

So the last post was February 2014, and it's now February 2018 as I type this.

A lot has happened in the space of four years. Shortly after we discovered the joys of ABA, we started a home program - at great cost. Sue left her job around April 2014 (due to her role being relocated to Birmingham) and she was able to become Emily's full time ABA tutor. We still needed a consultant to create a program and let us know if we were doing it correctly. That's the costly bit.

After a year or so of doing an ABA program, we were able to collect enough data to demonstrate that Emily was making progress and, in her case, ABA worked. We then went to local authority to get them to change Emily's school from a general Austism school, to an ABA-specific one. We found a great school called Rainbow in Wandsworth and they had a place they could offer her.

Unfortunately, the local authority said no (assuming due to cost) so we took them to tribunal. We plead our case, with a raft of experts pleading our case, and the local authority and Emily's existing school plead their case. You can't argue with science (which is what ABA is backed by).

Emily eventually started at Rainbow and it was all good. She's still there and getting on very well. I believe ABA has really helped her. She's still a quiet, reserved child and you can tell she is "different", but I believe the change in both school and teaching methods have been very beneficial to her.

We've accepted, quite begrudgingly, over the last 9 years that Emily is who and what she is. There's no magic cure. You deal with the cards you are dealt and find the silver lining in the cloud. Emily is a lovely, loving child who loves her hobbies -books, puzzles, etc. She can ask for motivators like rice cakes and she can alert you to problems (like needing the toilet, or the fact that she has a bloody nose).

I do wish I could snap my fingers and have an actual conversation with her, but I need to focus on the good things, not the "wish I could haves".

Emily turns 10 next month and it's been quite the decade of ups and downs.

As I write this, Sue if trying to finalise Emily's EHCP (Educational and Health Care Plan). As usual the local authority are trying to downplay the effect that ABA has had on Emily in the last couple of years. Something we have fought so hard for. It's a shame that we still have to fight.

Oh well, nothing worth doing ever happened easily did it.

Over and out!

Taking a breath

Sue had a nice mini-break in Portugal on the weekend which left Emily and I to our own devices. Father - daughter bonding or father utter frustration at child?

Well, it was a mix of both. 

We went to an engagement "party" at a pub on Sunday and I spent the entire time chasing Emily and making sure she didn't get up to mischief of one kind or another... and she did. She constantly walked straight out the front door like she knew what she was doing. 

It was quite a relaxing feeling leaving really, as I knew she couldn't BUDGE from her car seat the whole way home. 

We're also TRYING to sort out this dreaded potty training. Trouble is she just won't tell us when  she needs to go - we have to almost be clairvoyant, judging her facial expressions and body language correctly.

Tonight she was doubled over, so I knew a brown loaf was brewing. Sitting her NEAR the potty elicited the usual squeaks and squawks she lets out when she doesn't want to do something. Moments later, her back end smelled worse than Wallington Asda (which is next to a sewage treatment plant and generally smells of it).

Speaking of Asda, we had some father - daughter bonding time there this evening, in between bouts of father CHASING daughter time. Sometimes I think I'm too old to be a father. 

Anyway, in between picking out loaves of bread and bags of peppers, Emily decided she wanted to do "whizzies", which is basically me holding her in my arms and spinning around. She looked right into my eyes (a good thing, from our speech and language therapy lessons) and said "one, two, three" at which point I spin us both around. This was met by bit smiles and laughter. Rinse and repeat about 10 times. 

When I put her down, she then proceeded to try and do "Ring a Ring a Rosie". Are there less subtle ways for a child to tell a parent they're ready to leave? I don't think so.

Slackass in posting - The May 2011 update

It's been about a month since my last confession... I mean post.

In that time, nothing of any REAL note has happened regarding Emily. She hasn't written a thesis or magically started talking on complete sentences, etc.

However, there have been marginal gains in her language and development issues. We've always recited books and sung songs with her leaving out the odd word for her to fill in. Recently we've been leaving more and more words out, to the point where some songs like "Baa Baa Black Sheep" she can sing all by herself.

This is probably an important milestone in her development, but she still blanks pretty much everyone around her - never saying hello, even when Sue comes home. It can be quite heartbreaking being COMPLETELY ignored by your own child... well, until she becomes a teenager.

We're currently in a holding pattern. 8 June we find out if Emily gets into Dragonflies, the specialist pre-school for children with "issues". If not, we fall back to plan B - the local montessori school, with minimal provision for helping the lessor developed.

I've also started a new job in the last two weeks, and the odd day calls for me to be in the office in Windsor. This has meant a bit of a role reversal for Sue and I - as I am now leaving early and arriving home late. Some nights I've not even seen Emily, she's already asleep. I really understand how Sue has felt the times she's come home and Em's been asleep. Sometimes going a couple of days without seeing her - if it's early mornings as well.

Tomorrow we're off to Legoland, so it will be interesting to see how Emily interacts with her surroundings. I assume she's find a bookstore and hole up in there until it's time to go.

Good news for Emily

Sue had her baby class today (I think it's technically called post-natal class) and she found out a whole ream of information regarding Em.

For the last couple of weeks, Emily has favoured sucking any number of fingers, and sometimes her whole fist, as opposed to her dummy. This is apparently a development milestone (check that!) and she's not necessarily hungry, which I would assume she is. Why else would you stuff your gob?

On a funny note, the last couple of days have been quite nice and sunny and Sue was told she really should lather Emily up with baby sunscreen. You'd assume that spring weather wouldn't necessitate sunscreen, but there you have it.

There was also a report in the Metro yesterday saying that breastfed babies are more intelligent. The health visitor today told Sue that the effects of breast feeding can still be seen in 70 year olds, so obviously starting a baby off on the right foot is only a good thing.

All in all, it looks like we're giving Emily a decent start to life. We're going to up her baths now that the warm weather is upon us and hopefully get her to baby aquatics as well. I don't want her terrified of the water like I was as a wee nipper.