Finding her way or becoming spoilt?

Emily's getting to that age where she's becoming quite independent ... or so she thinks. She wants to walk where SHE wants to walk, do what SHE wants to do and if she can't, we'll hear about it - usually with a scream in our ear.

Up until now, I always thought terrible parents were terrible because they were lazy or didn't care, but I really begin to wonder where the line is with children. Is Emily learning as she goes, or is she testing boundaries? Are these the seeds of an ASBO child that we have to guide, or is it a natural part of development to not want to hold hands crossing the road and spraying the wall with food?

If it is a natural part of development, how do we react?

Last night, Emily threw food on the floor, and I tapped her hand and sternly said no. As she's not an adult, she didn't look at me and say, "Gosh. Sorry dad, what the heck was I thinking?", she looked at me and balled her eyes out, as I picked bits of quiche out of the carpet and surrounding toys. I understand children have the attention span of a gnat, but I firmly believe I need to ensure Emily starts to know right from wrong, or is it too early?

Parenting is hard. I guess bad parents are those that understand this, and choose the easy route, I don't know.

Toddler Discipline - The beginning

Emily is getting to that stage where she's not a blank slate anymore. She's started to do these little things to test Sue and I. Part of me wants to let her experience things and be free, but the other part, the part that can envision this boundary-free tearaway, wants to stop her at every turn.

It's incredibly hard to know what to let her do and what to put a stop to. Do we allow her to fling her food on the floor or kill that dead? Is she allowed to trace her fingers around my closed eye or will that morph into attacking sleeping children at school?

And then there's the kicking. When we're out and about, Em uses kicking to signal excitement. When we're playing that same kicking sometimes results in a boot to the head for mummy and daddy. Do we scold her and put an end to this (sometimes) painful experience.

I can't help but think the choices we make today will shape the child in the future. With parenthood comes great responsibility. I can't help but feeling our actions now will  help determine whether Em becomes a PhD or an ASBO.

Boundaries for Emily

At the moment, Emily is pretty much allowed to fun amuck, unencumbered by any boundaries. I realise that as she gets older we need to set parameters and instil in her a sense of right and wrong about a great many things but I really don't know when this should become priority number one.

Case in point - sleeping. At the moment, to get Em to sleep we take her to our bed, play with her, sing to her and read to her. She eventually drops off. All school of thought (and my tingling Spidey sense) tells me she should be falling asleep in her own bed. This is a "boundary" that I'm keen to put in place soon, but I don't know if our current regime is causing her any lasting harm.

I've been reading about boundaries, or discipline, lately and a lot of it seems like common sense, but I feel that as Sue and I get older and get more and more tired, it's just easier to give in. SelfGrowth.com lie out a number of scenarios displaying why discipline and boundaries are needed.

At the moment, Emily is causing havoc in the living room throwing stuff around, but I firmly believe that as long as Sue and I are helping Em figure out right from wrong, we're a good step along the way.

I imagine discipline and boundaries will be a more common theme as Emily gets older and we tread this very long path together. I just hope we tread it correctly.